The words hung in his mind all day: “We never make love anymore.” He had heard that it happened to other couples, but he had never thought it would happen to them.

He spent the afternoon almost in a panic, wondering what to do about it. Was this the way they were going to spend the rest of their lives – too busy to connect and too embarrassed to talk about it? Were they just too far away from the tender part of their loving to ever need each other the way they used to? At this rate they were going to end up like their parents – polite and bored and withholding. Is that what he wanted?

“No. I don’t think so,” he thought. “Love has to start somewhere. Why not with me?”

He finished shaving and looked at himself in the mirror. It had been a while since he had shaved before going to bed. He buttoned the silk pajamas he had purchased on his lunch hour. His heart was actually pounding. Was he excited or nervous? He was not sure, but he sure as hell was not going to let it stop him.

As he entered the bedroom he stood in the doorway to look at her. She sat with pillows propped behind her, focusing on her laptop computer, which sat on the breakfast tray in front of her. Funny. He had never noticed how adorable she was in those half glasses. And the T-shirt. He stood in the doorway and gazed at her, unsure what to do next. Should he interrupt? Would she laugh at his romantic overtures? Should he turn back now before she noticed him in those silly pajamas?

She glanced up briefly, and then did a double take. “Too late,” he thought and froze; he felt vulnerable to the core.

She took off her glasses and looked at him quizzically. He could not think of anything glib to say as he crossed the room toward her, so he just said, “Hi, honey. Watcha doing?”

Much to his relief, she patted the bed beside her and replied, “Nothing much. Come sit down.”

He sat. Neither of them knew what to say next, so he took the plunge and tried to say what was in his heart.

“So…I was thinking…about what you said. And how we are…and…I…ah…” The words seemed to stick in his throat. “Well…I would really like to try it.”

She was not quite sure what he was talking about, or else she could not believe her ears. “It?”

“Yeah…you know. I’d really like us to…you know…be like we were. I mean…”

He stopped and looked at her in a kind of anguish. He hoped against hope that she would help him out as she always did.

And she did.

“Did you shave?” she asked shyly. He nodded. “For me?” He nodded again.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She looked unabashedly happy; their years together seemed to melt away in the light of that smile, and they were both young and tender again. She suddenly became self-conscious of her T-shirt.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “I love you, you know. And I just want to…not get us lost…in the shuffle.”

And that night they looked into each other’s eyes as they made love. They noticed each other’s bodies again, and the richness and ripeness of their feelings for each other. They discovered that the bond of knowing each other so well had created a bridge of gratitude and appreciation that became the most profound kind of lovemaking.

You can “have sex” and you can “make love.” They are not necessarily the same thing. When you “make love,” you open yourself completely to your mate. As you let go and allow your body to follow its own instincts, stay in touch with your heart and your loving feeling for your partner.

There are many ways to do this:

• Think about how much you love your partner.
• Tell your partner that you love him or her.
• Adore your partner’s body as you make love to it.
• Hold each other and breathe together.
• Look lovingly into your partner’s eyes.

Make love and allow yourself completely to feel the love you have for your mate. Making love “from the heart” can create the deepest and most profound sex.